Making friends as an introvert is not the easiest thing for me. The hardest part is those first moments when I decide to engage someone in conversation or join an established group. For those wondering why? Breaking the ice is problematic because it requires talking, and talking is tiring. Also, I am not a fan of conversing for its sake, and general chit chat conversations are exhausting.
But some years ago, I decided if I were going to build a brand where I help women heal, then I would need to come out of my comfort zone and try and…
You are happy to be pregnant and looking forward to the birth of your brand new baby. You enjoyed the shopping and all the activities associated with welcoming your bundle of joy into the world. However, the baby’s arrival doesn’t flood you with the emotions that they show in the movies and are different from other mothers’ experiences in the books you read.
We assume that as mothers, we have an innate ability to live with our children and experience a deep connection with them. We think the bond is automatic, and we are deficient if we struggle. …
Every time I speak on the subject of attachment, there is usually one person in the audience who will ask. ‘Is this a western concept?’ or ‘My mother never told me that she loved me and I am fine. Then there’s the conversation afterwards by those not bold enough to share publicly; this is where I’ll hear about the angry, harsh mother who never declared love. They talk of mothers more comfortable with physical punitive punishment, criticism and negative feedback than giving love, appreciation and encouragement.
Although it is alarming that some think attachment is unnecessary, I have learnt to…
The question of how young is too young to talk about sex has long baffled many parents. The answer is still a challenge today.
Families will tackle the question in ways unique to them and their circumstance. For some, the response will be dependent on culture and how their parents addressed the subject.
This article is not an attempt to tell you how to tackle this delicate topic. Instead, I will share some reasons people have discomfort with the issue and share how I resolved the matter with my children.
A text received from a friend influenced this article, she…
Great article, I read every word with interest. I live in a small village in the Welsh country side, we wanted to raise our children away from the big city with all it's distractions. I understand what you mean that as black people we are not free to live anywhere we want. The world is just not progressive enough for that.
I have always wondered about the impact or validity of people who teach marriage enrichment when married for less than five years. I know we live in an age of ‘experts’ many people are reading and deciding on niches not because they have the expertise or have lived experiences but sometimes because they’ve studied something or read some books.
For some ‘experts’, it’s mainly because having a niche makes their message clearer, and they could potentially have a more significant impact and influence. The idea of being an influencer is appealing.
Despite the training and books, I struggled to take…
I was recently reflecting as I often do on the special connection between mother and child. Psychologist calls this unique bond attachment. My reflection wasn’t just about the bond per se but rather about the things that often hinder this tie and the path necessary to heal the damage.
When the parent-child bond is damaged, it’s is called attachment injuries. It works much like any other physical injuries. I am particularly interested in the broken connection between mother and daughter.
However, because the wounds are not visible, it’s often ignored for a long time — some for a lifetime. Yet…
September is observed worldwide as suicide prevention and awareness month. During this time, we draw attention to this crucial subject.
I believe if we talk about it more and raise awareness, then we will educate the public to the necessity of looking out for each other and provide support to people who are struggling.
I also believe it’s important to include children and young people in the conversation. Not just by talking about young people mental health and suicide but by having conversations with them about suicide.
Including them means listening to their ideas and fears.
Sometimes listening to fears…
Before I was married, I told myself that I wasn’t going to stay married for the sake of it. I had seen a lot of that around me, and that’s not something that I wanted, but I also made a commitment that my children would have their father.
I discovered that those could be unpredictable things to manage at the same time.
Anyone that’s married knows that we often have lots of lofty ideas about how marriage works or should be until we get married and realise that every one of those ideas will get tested.
Additionally, when I was…
Mental health and the church have never had a good relationship. The breakdown exists because of the people representing the church. The people who feel they hold the oracles of God are often dismissive of individuals who struggle with mental health. The impression is that it is not worthy enough of attention. It’s put the church in an awkward position, and for this to change, they have to become comfortable with talking about mental health and suicide.
It’s not a new problem.
I write about trauma, healing and the Christian community.